like a tree

Heat Lightning

2011-08-21T21:31:00.000-07:00

You're more like us than we know.
We're asked how we are in your image,
but most of the time it takes us a few minutes
to think of some things.

But what if its a lot simpler than
coming up with qualities that we think we
may or may not share with you
but aren't sure if we live them out or not.

What if its the little, normal things
that make the two of us so much in common.
Not love, or anger, or the ability to reason.
Nor the fact that we have souls and animals don't.

But maybe you like seeing your children
learn, just like we do with our own.
Or do you enjoy drinking chocolate milk
after a good smoke with your brothers.
Like when I see something beautiful
that no one else notices and take a picture of it.

Maybe that's what you were doing tonight
as we learned and got high off the smoke of your presence.
As we gazed upon the beauty in the distance,
with the colorful flashes lighting up the clouds like a sunset.
And you saw beautiful things that no one else could.

But we didn't have our cameras with us, so
it must've been yours.
We're more like you than we know.

All Our Ships Are Sinking

2011-07-24T14:26:00.000-07:00

You've been sailing this ship for years,
yet you have not arrived where you hope to get to.

And now you've been thrown overboard and are
clinging to the side of the boat
because you know you can't swim.

But what happens when that ship starts to sink?

Wounding Healer

2011-07-24T14:09:00.000-07:00

I wear a metal suit of armor everywhere I go,
but it's really made out of aluminum foil
but no one knows because it looks real
and they think I am protected.
I look strong and secure but there is
Someone who sees my deception.
He knows and speaks the truth about me to myself.
His truth pierces like arrows through my paper thin armor.
If you could see me with my shirt off, you'd
See all the scars from his sword and arrows.
I cover myself up in hopes that they will heal,
but deep inside I know that the
One who wounds me is the only One who can heal me.

Untitled

2011-07-24T13:55:00.001-07:00

No one can see the fear in my eyes
'Cause I always keep them closed.
No wonder I can't see anything.

No one knows how heavy my heart is
'Cause I never let them carry it.
No wonder I feel so alone.

Company

2011-01-11T07:07:00.000-08:00

All my life I thought I wanted to be alone.
But tonight, under that pink and lavender sky,
I would've liked some company.
No, I wasn't completely by myself and the
surrounding white wasn't totally empty.
For I know you are in my heart- whether
I carry you in my heart, or you put yourself in it,
I do not know, but it would've been nice
to have you by my side.
Wish I could've seen you there standing next to me.
A warmth seemed to be missing out there-
I'm a cold man without you.
No, I wasn't all alone- but I was lonely.
Oh, to be able to look in your eyes every time we talk.
Or if your hand was always there to hold
when the light is gone.
Or to lose myself in the beauty of your voice.
But I can't always hear you. or feel you, or see you.
I don't mind if you leave, but please don't leave me.
Don't leave me here alone. Don't forget me forever.

and to think....all my life, I thought I wanted to be alone.

Far Gone

2010-11-29T17:53:00.000-08:00

No, my son, you are not too far gone.

Though you run away to the darkest corner of the earth.
Yes, even there my steps follow you and go with you.
Though you fly off to the highest height,
my wings will cover you there.
Though you dive down to the deepest depth of the sea.
Yes- even there I will find you.
Though you sail to the farthest shore,
even there I will keep you near to me.

You're never too far gone.

Close the Curtain

2010-11-03T18:06:00.000-07:00

No more shows. I'm tired of them all.
Stop it. Stop with all the noise.
Take off your makeup and tear down your facades.
Turn off all those lights.
All they see is you, your darkness has blinded them.
I AM the Light; I must shine.
Quit with all the jokes and punchlines.
Get off the stage.
Rip apart your fancy clothes
and clothe yourselves with humility and truth.
Repent, and return to me.
I AM the center of it all.

Tree Without Wind

2010-10-31T13:48:00.001-07:00

Come, blow through me with your wind.
Take this broken heart and mend.

Move me like the tops of trees sway in the breeze.
Make me dance like the wind does the leaves.

Topple me, splinter me, knock me down.
I just want to feel your power.

Like a hurricane, destroy all I've ever known.
Like a tornado, take from me all that I own.

Do something; do anything; do everything.
Just don't do nothing.

Don't leave me, please stay till the end,
'Cause without you I am like a tree with no wind.

Crucified

2010-09-30T10:27:00.000-07:00

   "Come, take up your cross and follow me", my Lord says to me. "My way is narrow and hard to stay on, but with my grace, you can walk it with me." Not knowing what was in store before me or what the road ahead looks like, I pick up the wooden beam and put it across my shoulders and begin to follow in his footsteps up the dirt road. "The place where I am taking you is not pleasant. What I am leading you to will be the hardest thing you will ever do." Intimidated by his words, I stay quiet and keep walking behind him. As we approach the final hill, he stops and turns to me. Hunched over because of the weight of the cross, I strain to lift up my face just enough to look at him. With a fiery passion in his eyes, he looks directly into my fearful ones and tells me, "Up on top of this hill is where we are going. As I told you before, this will not be easy for you. It wasn't easy for me either. But it was worth it. Trust me, it will be worth it. If you want to leave, now is the time, for if you go through with this there's no turning back. Your life won't be your own anymore if you follow me up this hill."
   Overwhelmed, yet filled with courage by his intense words, I nodded to him to continue. No longer afraid, and not wanting to stay behind in him in fear, I surged up ahead to where he was. He looked over at me and gave a gentle smile as we now journeyed side by side up the rest of the hill and onto the flat top part over looking the city. I set my cross on the ground and laid down upon it bracing myself for what was about to happen.
   Before he started, Jesus warned me one last time, "Mark, this will hurt- very badly; deeply. But, it is worth it." I closed my eyes tightly, ready to take the pain. What took place the following minutes, I could've never prepared for. He positioned the first nail firmly between the bones in my wrist. With each strike of the hammer, I began to feel why Jesus said this was so hard. Yes, the physical pain was excruciating, but it was the rest of my life being crucified that was the most unbearable part.
   Obviously my physical body was being put to death, but as the nail was driven into the wood, so too were my relationships.He begins to nail down my other hand and with it I felt all my possessions- everything I've every owned- being nailed down. He moves down to my feet. As the bones in my feet are crushed, so is my own will and plan for my life. He hoists the cross, with me and all of my life on it into the hole dug for it. I longer I hang there on the cross, the more I realize that my mind and all my thoughts have been killed with the rest of me. And my time flows out of me mingled in with the blood pouring out of my body. And my sin- all the death in me- has been nailed to the cross and I bear it no more. I am emptied of myself completely.
   Once it is finished, Jesus takes my body down and places it in a tomb. I'm dead. My body. My time. My relationships. My will. My sin. Dead. Crucified and buried. And then my savior does something incredible. He breaths on me. And my body rises. Everything comes back to life. My time, my thoughts, my heart- everything has received new life. Everything about me has been made new. Everything except one thing- my sin- he left my sin in the grave, right where it belongs.

I am not my own, for I have been made new.
I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.

The Love of God

2010-09-20T19:17:00.001-07:00

The love of God is greater far

Than tongue or pen could ever tell.

It goes beyond the highest star,

And reaches to the lowest hell.

The guilty pair bowed down with care,

God gave His only Son to win.

His erring child he reconciled,

You and I pardoned from our sin.

Oh love of God how rich and pure,

It shall forevermore endure.

How measureless and strong

The saints’ and angels’ song.

We sing holy, holy.

When ancient times shall pass away

And earthly thrones and kingdoms fall.

When men here refuse to pray,

And on rocks, hills, and mountains call.

God’s love so sure shall still endure,

All measureless and strong.

Redeeming grace to Adam’s race

Shall be the saints’ and angels’ song.

Could we with ink the ocean fill,

And were the skies of parchment made.

Were every stalk on earth a quill,

And every man a scribe by trade.

To write the love of God above

Would drain the ocean dry,

Nor could the scroll contain the whole,

Though stretched from sky to sky.

Oh love of God how rich and pure,

It shall forevermore endure.

How measureless and strong

The saints’ and angels’ song.

We sing holy, holy.

Faithful One

2010-08-26T09:54:00.000-07:00

Our God is here. Your love is near.
So I won't fear, yeah.
You're not far away, you're here today.
So I won't be afraid.

Oh, You have not forgotten me.
Oh, You will not forsake me.
Oh, You will not abandon me.
Oh, You'll never leave me, yeah.
(repeat)

'Cause You're the faithful One
You're the Faithful One
Yes You are Lord.
You're the faithful One
You're the faithful One.

You are closer than I know, God.
You are closer than I know.
You are closer than I know.
You are closer than I know.

You're the faithful One.
You're the faithful One.
That's who you are Lord.
You're the faithful One.

by: Nate Moore
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0EcOWv56pk

2010-08-26T08:25:00.001-07:00

The stars come out of their hiding place to put on a show.
And my heart dances in my chest waiting for yours to come join in.

Bones

2010-08-15T19:35:00.001-07:00

When will these bones find their rest?
For they are tired of being tired.
Breath life into these dead, dry bones.
Make them move. Bring them to life.
Put within them a heart that beats for only you.

pnuema

2010-08-15T19:34:00.000-07:00

You're like the gentle autumn breeze that cools my face
and gently lifts me and comforts my soul.
But you're like the raging hurricane that tears down my walls
and destroys all that I've ever held dear.
You reside in my heart,
yet you cannot be contained, tamed, or restrained.
You are invisible to our eyes,
but your works are clearly seen.
You are the wind that moves the lifeless trees;
their leaves only blow when you touch them.
I can't live without you.
I can't breath without you.
I can't move without you.

I Need You (pt. 2)

2010-08-15T19:30:00.000-07:00

I need you like the baby needs its mother.
I need you like the trees need the wind.
I need you like the husband needs his wife.
I need you like the mountains need the valleys.
I need you like the eagle needs to fly.
I need you more than anything.

Children of the Earth

2010-08-15T19:28:00.000-07:00

Children of the earth; once dust, but now life.
Living in tents of flesh and bone, we hold spiritual warfare.
Set a flame in my heart, illuminate the darkest hours
where I wait before the dawn to see
the glory and the power of the Lord.

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah.

The older we become, we must become more like a child,
believing there's a land that lies beyond all things that we've seen.
Make my mind free from fears. You know I can't do it on my own.
The way is high but we could fly over when you heal our wings.

We sing hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
We sing hallelujah, hallelujah
hallelujah, hallelujah.

by: Josh Garrels

ephesians' letter

2010-08-07T17:40:00.000-07:00

As for you, you were DEAD in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved... it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Therefore, remember that formerly you who are Gentiles by birth and called "uncircumcised" by those who call themselves "the circumcision" —remember that at that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.

He. himself. is. our. peace.....through him we have access to the Father by one Spirit.

Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's family, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.

Children

2010-07-20T19:28:00.000-07:00

Children are beautiful.
Of all creation, they are the most precious.
Full of joy, hope, and love,
they exude life no matter the situation.
Their imagination takes them places
we could never dream of going.
They are created to be creative, just like their creator.
Their eyes, like the brightest of stars,
light up even the darkest night.
And their smiles- oh man; their smiles are worth
more than any happiness money can buy.
We've a lot to learn from children.
After all, we must become one to enter the kingdom.

Father, please protect your little children from evil.

The Giver

2010-07-12T09:46:00.000-07:00

You gave us life,
and we continue to live in death.
You gave us love,
yet we still hate our brother.
You gave us peace,
but we continue to fight.
You gave us joy,
yet we sulk in our sorrow.
You gave us grace,
but we take advantage of it.
You gave us blessing beyond measure,
and we have cursed you.
You gave us freedom,
but we have preferred our bondage.
You gave us communion with you,
but we've ignored your spirit.
You gave yourself to us,
but we've turned to handmade idols.
You gave us your son,
and then we killed him.

Oh giver of all things good,
forgive us for what we've done with your gifts.

My Escape

2010-07-12T09:36:00.000-07:00

There's something; or someone; chasing me.
Daily, I am pursued by this...thing.
I've never been able to escape it.
Running away only makes it run harder and faster.
Where is the escape? Where is my haven?
Who will save me from this?

After 20 years of being pursued,
I've realized that the very thing
from which I wish to escape from...
is my escape

Be Lifted

2010-07-11T18:28:00.000-07:00

This body of mine is tattered and torn

My soul, battered and worn.

My heart still beats

But its been scarred so deep

I’m not sure if it can heal.

My senses numb, I’m unable to feel.

These weary bones have become weak and tired

They’ve been through the rain and gone through the fire.

My mind finds no rest

Abba, is this a test, for me?

I know you always have the best for me.

My shoulders weighed down heavily

But I must keep moving steadily.

Through this race;

I must keep up the pace

Till I come face to face

With my creator and

Welcome his strong embrace.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened.

Come taste and see; I’ll take away all your hurtin’

Truly, you can know for certain

That I have completely ripped the curtain

That once divided us.

We are now one.

Lets fight this battle; its just begun,

Though its already won,

When its all said and done,

We’ll be in the final kingdom,

Living in total freedom

Together with the King of all wisdom.

My strength increases

As my sorrow ceases.

My hope has risen,

For he has driven

Out the night with the light

And taken away my fright

With his power and might,

Oh King of all that is right.

2010-07-03T17:58:00.000-07:00

Today I did a bunch of yard work.
I saw 3 lizards and 8 lizard eggs.
I saw a baby copperhead snake.
I saw 3 big toads and 1 baby toad.
I saw a bunch of big beetles.
I saw a praying mantis.
I saw centipedes and other bugs.
I saw grasshoppers and crickets.
My cats were chillin in the yard.
Birds were chirping.

My God is so creative.

Obsession

2010-06-20T13:31:00.000-07:00

What can I do with my obsession ?
With the things I cannot see
Is there madness in my being ?
Is it the wind that moves the trees?
Sometimes You're further than the moon
Sometimes You're closer than my skin
And You surround me like a winter fog
You've come and burned me with a kiss

And my heart burns for You
And my heart burns...for You

And I'm so filthy with my sin
I carry pride like a disease
You know I'm stubborn, Lord, and
I'm longing to be close
You burn me deeper than I know
And I feel lonely without hope
And I feel desperate
Without vision
You wrap around me like a winter coat
You come and free me like bird

by: David Crowder

No Words

2010-06-06T14:15:00.000-07:00

You are stronger than strong.
You are better than good.
You are higher than high.
You are greater than great.
You are truer than true.
You are more faithful than faith.
You are lovelier than love.
You are more gracious than grace.
You are holier than holy.
You are wiser than wisdom.
You are.
There are no words to describe you.

Defy Gravity

2010-06-06T14:12:00.000-07:00

Go.
Move the unmovable.
Love the unlovable.
Crush the uncrushable.
Shake the unshakable.
Empower the powerless.
Light up the darkness.
Do the impossible.

We'll defy gravity.

not condemned

2010-05-23T19:01:00.000-07:00

Pounding; pounding the wall with your fists,

angry over the good things you have missed.

Looking; looking at the scars on your wrists,

reminding yourself of the pain of your past sins.

Remembering how you betrayed him with a kiss

and how everything in your life has gone amiss.

But you were made for more than this;

and he's already pulled you out the of the abyss.

So stop running; running out of the exits,

away from the condemnation that no longer exists

2010-05-19T17:38:00.001-07:00

What was once a few fig leaves
has now become a fortress.
And the plank has turned into
a giant redwood tree.

2010-05-11T16:58:00.000-07:00

I miss you.

It's been 4 years since you left earth.

No, I don't think about you everyday,

but when I do, I wish you were still here.

I miss your strong hugs and I miss

the kisses you gave me on the cheek

each time I saw you, and each time

I left your house.

I hate that I didn't call you beautiful.

I loved you...a lot, but I didn't understand

beauty at that point in my life. I didn't quite

recognize His beauty in you.

But now I do. I want to tell you that you

are beautiful. So...you're beautiful.

I'm looking forward to seeing you again.

2010-04-20T18:59:00.001-07:00

How can you accept someone like me into you family?

How can you call me your son?

Because

your grace is greater than my sin.

your compassion goes farther than my hate.

your holiness overwhelms my filthy heart.

your peace is deeper than my brokenness.

your light is brighter than my darkness.

your love is stronger than my rebellion.

2010-04-13T20:30:00.000-07:00

"When will I be free from this?" I asked Him.

"When are you going to choose to be free from it?" He asked back.

"but don't you have to free me...i can't free myself...right?"

"you are correct, my child. you can't free yourself. I am the only

one who can free you. As you know, I am the Truth, and the Truth

sets men free. and you know Me. we both confirm that.

"so, when will you choose to be free son?"

"I don't know...i feel confused...didn't we just agree that You

are the only one who can free me?"

"Yes, right again." You know me. and you know the Truth.

but do you know the Truth. The truth is,
is that I have set you free."

"well...maybe i don't understand the truth.
and maybe i don't quite understand

how freedom works."

"ahhh, now we're getting somewhere!"

"so, what do you think freedom is?
maybe once you know the truth of what

freedom is, you will be free."

"uhh. well, I guess I always thought that
freedom is like when someone

takes someone out of slavery,
and so now that slave is...free".

"so, is that what freedom is, my son?"
"what else is there about freedom?"

"ummmm. i...don't really know. I guess
I just haven't thought about it

very deeply before."
"could you tell me what freedom is?"

"sure. Freedom is...freedom. I'll give you some examples...

"It's like you were locked away in prison. Forever.
and then, I came and opened the door.
It's your choice to walk out of the door

that I have opened, but its also
your choice to stay in your cell. Or like you have done,

you can walk in and out of the cell,
but you and I both know that life outside

of that prison is much better."

"or, freedom is like if you were dead (which you were),
and i came and breathed new life into you.
you are now alive. its your choice to continue living in me,
or you can jump back down 6 feet into your grave and live in the

death that i killed." do you want some more examples?

"no, i think i'm getting it."

"so, what you're saying is that, you don't "make" me be free?

and that freedom is my choice?
like, I can choose to be free from lust

and jealousy and worry and arrogance?

"yes, yes, yes!!" you got it! but- you can not do this on your own.

"you must make the choice to be free...but you must walk with me.

I promise I will be with you. True freedom only works if you live in

my freedom, with me. so come, walk out of that prison cell,

grab my hand, and live this life in freedom with me"

2010-04-13T18:32:00.000-07:00

I've been hiking for quite some time now.

and I always find myself wandering off the trail

and following whatever catches my eye...

I've been here before- many times.

I've lost count how many times I've seen

this same tree with the ugly, black scar

from a lightning strike on it.

Hmm...look here- I've made my own path

through the field that makes a circle back to this tree.

All I want is a quiet stream to rest beside

and be refreshed.

Sunday

2010-04-05T21:20:00.000-07:00

ok...this is the last "installment" of the Easter weekend days, Sunday...I've written three different aspects for Sunday, all in response to the resurrection of Jesus. The first is a young boy, at the age of 6, who is having a conversation with his parents. The second is a personification of death, speaking to himself. and the third is a conversation between Jesus and the Father....

the child:
"Mommy, Daddy! Have you heard?"
"No son, we haven't. What's going on?" asked his parents.
"Its Jesus! He's gone. His disciples say that his body is not in the tomb anymore! He has risen from the dead. He's alive!" exclaimed the young boy with excitement.
"No sweety, I'm sorry, but I don't think thats true", said his mother.
"But he's the son of God; of course its true!" said the little one.
"Well, no son, he's not the Messiah we've been waiting for; he is surely still dead." his mom replied.
"But don't you remember when Jesus sat on the hillside and was so nice to me and my friends? He hugged us and made us laugh and was so loving and kind. A man with that much love can not stay dead!"
His father spoke up, "You must stop this- we have not raised you to believe such far-fetched stories."
"But dad, its true!" the boy pleaded.
"THAT'S ENOUGH SON!" yelled his father, "I don't want to hear this nonsense anymore."
With one last attempt to try to persuade his parents the boy said with much passion and many tears in his eyes, "How can you NOT believe? Where is your faith? The tomb is empty! Anything is possible now!"
Just as the boy finished these words, the "now possible" happened...
Jesus walks through the front door, into the living room. The boy looks up with unexplainable joy and runs to Jesus, hugging his leg as tight as his arms can cling. Jesus picks him up, swings him around, gives him a big bear hug, and puts him back on the ground. Then Jesus walks back out of the door and disappears from them. The boy turns around back to his parents, and finds them face down on the floor, weeping and broken.

Death:
"Oh no, he did it. He rose. I'm ruined. I have no power anymore. For Jesus has taken my victory. He has stolen my sting. Now that He has defeated me, there is no reason for anyone to fear me. I wasn't strong enough to keep him in the grave, and now nothing will be impossible for his followers because Jesus will give them the same power that conquered me."

the Father and Jesus:
"Well done Jesus. You have been faithful to me during you time on earth with the ones I gave you. You have been obedient to death; even death on a cross. You have won the battle against the kingdom of hell. Thank you."

"Father, its only because of your Spirit in me, for I can do nothing apart from you."

"Its good to have you back Jesus; it was very hard to watch the ones we created kill you the violent way they did. And yes, it is indeed finished, but I want to remind you of some things that you and I both know. The true story of your death and resurrection will be told to many peoples. Your disciples will continue to further our kingdom on earth by loving others the way you loved them. But, our followers will also take advantage of our mercy. They will treat your death as if it were in vain. They will rebel and sin against us, using our forgiveness to justify their actions. But our grace will cover them. The same grace that was poured out on the cross will continue to be poured out on them through our Spirit. Our spirit will guide them and bring them into communion with us."

"Yes Father, we've known that since they fell, back in the garden. Thank you for reaffirming that. I would go through all that suffering again to just to show them your love again. But you're right- it is finished. I just love them so much. and I love you."

Saturday

2010-04-03T21:23:00.000-07:00

for the day after Jesus' death, I only did two characters...a Jewish religious leader and a disciple of Jesus. maybe this is how things went down....

(if you haven't read Friday yet, read that first). tomorrow, I will do Sunday.

Jewish leader:

Whew! I'm glad that is all over. We finally got rid of that rebel Jesus. Soon, all of disciples will lose their faith and all the excitement about this so called "Messiah" will die down, just like he did. I mean, who's going to follow a king that is in the grave? and who is going to believe in a God that is dead?

disciple of Jesus:

I didn't get much sleep last night. It was very difficult to fall asleep because of the eventful day that had just occurred. I was so tired, and my eyes were worn out from crying so much, but I couldn't stop thinking about my Lord. I kept thinking that he would just walk into the room and embrace me and tell me its all okay...but he never did that. I woke up this morning not knowing what to do. So I just got up and went for a walk to try to clear my mind a little bit. I looked around me and was devastated by what I saw and heard. The sky was dull and lifeless. The grass seemed to have last a shade of green. No birds were singing, and there were no children out playing and laughing. It was eerily silent. That must be what death sounds like. The wind was blowing, but the trees stood still. Everything was dead. It was like the whole world fell apart when Jesus died. Maybe he really does- or did- hold all things together.

I couldn't bear being by myself outside for long, for fear that I might become like the lifeless world all around me. I went into a house where I knew other disciples would be gathered. We've spent the last several hours crying and holding each other and praying, begging YHWH to do a miracle...

Friday

2010-04-03T19:52:00.001-07:00

On Good Friday, I got the idea to write some stuff…I’ve written what I think some of the people involved from Friday to Easter Sunday might have been thinking…I mainly just wrote about what I thought was going through their minds. so, this first part is the Friday that Jesus died…there are 5 different perspectives…a young man in the Jewish crowd, a Roman soldier, a disciple of Jesus, Jesus himself, and God the Father. I know there are others that I could have written about and done their persepective, like Pilate or Satan, but these are the five I’ve chosen for good Friday. I'll do Saturday and Sunday soon.

Here goes…

20 year old man from the crowd:

“Crucify him! Crucify him!” were the shouts of the crowd around me. I had seen this man serveral times before. He had power. And authority. I saw him make a leper clean and a lame man walk. One time, he even mad a blind man see. I never saw it, but I heard that he raised a man from the dead who had been in the tomb for 4 days! And I heard him teach in the towns and the temple. He taught with more authority and wisdom than any teacher I had ever heard. He trumped the pharisees in their debates. This man had to have been from God-- but he claimed to be the Messiah; our King!? He claimed to be God himself! That was a little too far. So with hesitation and resentment, I joined in with the rest of the Jews. I didn’t want to, because this Jesus was indeed a good man, and I don’t want a good man to die that way. But for fear of being scolded and beaten by the angry mob, I reluctantly threw my fist in the air and shouted in unison with the rest, “Crucify him! Crucify him! Kill him instead of Barabbas.” I called him names that I really didn’t mean and even spit in his direction to fit in with the crowd. ..

Just days ago we were all calling him “blessed” and were adoring him. Oh Jerusalem, we have fallen so far. What are we doing?

A Roman soldier:

“Please Pilate, don’t do this.” I thought to myself. Don’t sentence Jesus to be killed and Barabbas to be released. He is a good man and Barabbas is a convicted murderer. I don’t want to have to beat and kill this man—but if he gives the order, I must do what is commanded of me…

No! No! No! He just orderd the crucifixion of Jesus.

Another guard hands a whip to flog Jesus with. Jesus walks to us and we surround him. One guard jams a “crown” of hard, sharp thorns into his head. We strip him of his clothes and begin to punch him and slap him. The man next to me strikes the thorns with a staff, pressing the them further into his head. Blood is pouring from his head, and his face is swollen from the impact of our fists….

It’s time for the flogging. I help chain him to a post, with his back towards us. There are two of us with whips. We take turns slinging the whip into the back and sides of Jesus. Sometimes the whip wraps around to his front side and rips the flesh from his stomach to his ribs to his back. My partner is so passionate, that every few lashes, he whips Jesus while the pieces of glass, metal, and bone from my ninetails are still stuck in his side. So when we pull our whips out, Jesus is receiving double the damage. This man has no relief, no rest, no comfort…

I give a sigh of relief after the flogging ends. I go to loose the chains so Jesus can now be free to carry his cross up the hill to the Skull. I bend over, my face about two feet from his bloody and dirty face. I couldn’t help but stare at this pulp of a man. I run my eyes down his back and side, wanting to throw up at the sight of the raw, ripped apart body of Jesus. I feel like I could pass out. I take a few deep breaths to gather myself…

I take one last look at his face as I undo the final chain. Then, he mustered up enough energy to lift his head up. His eyes look straight into mine. I drop the chain and jump back. That gaze was frightening; bone chilling. His eyes were full of pain and agony, yet there ws something incredibly powerful about his eyes. It was like there was fire in them. We only made eye contact for a few seconds before I quickly looked straight at the ground, ashamed. But it seemed like those three seconds were an eternity…

We are ordered to follow Jesus as he walks the road with his cross on his shoulders. More than once, he stumbles and falls, face first into the dirt with the weight of the cross crashing down on top of him. He gets up with dirt and small rocks lodged into the gashes on his face…

I wish I had never entered the Roman army. This isn’t what I signed up for. The whole time Jesus is walking up the hill, I can’t get the image of his eyes out of my mind. His gaze is haunting me…

Exerting his last bit of strength, Jesus crawls to the place of his crucifixion and drops his cross. He falls on his back, looking up to the sky, trying to catch his breath and get few moments of rest. But before he can catch his breath, two of my fellow soldiers grab him and pull him on top of his cross. “Just let him rest a bit”, I think to myself. Our commander hands the three of us one nail each- each one being about eight inches long with some rust building up on the outside fo the nail. I am assigned to secure his right hand to the cross. I try to find the right place on his wrist to drive the nail through him into the wood, but as I try to line up my hammer with the head of the nail, I am disturbed and distracted by the sound of the bones in Jesus’ feet being crushed by the nail that is being driven through his feet…

The man on his left hand quickly gets his job done. I’m the last one. I take my first swing, but I let up at the last minute, not wanting to go through with my task. I don’t hit the nail hard enough and the nail just goes halfway into his wrist. His arm jerks up because of the natural reflex of his muscles. The nail falls out. So I start it over again. But the other soldiers hold his arm steady for me. I begin again, and do it right and quickly this time. His fingers tighten and curl inward with each hit. I regret each swing of my hammer. Every time I hear the sound of metal hitting metal, I wince. Every time Jesus screams in agony, my whole body cringes…

My job is finally done. I wish this was a bad dream. But its not. The sights and sounds of the last few hours are too real to be a dream. His cross is hoisted upright and I step back, in disarray and unbelief of what my two hands had just done to this innocent, kind mand called “the King of the Jews.”…

We wait for Jesus to die. He passes rather quickly compared to other crucifixions. He looks up at the sky and yells, “my God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” His head drops, and he breathes his last breath. A strong wind briefly blows over us. Suddenly, the sun darkens, and the sky goes black. The ground begins to shake and rocks fall off the mountains around us. Someone reports that the veil of the temple has been torn completely in two…

I fall on my face at the foot of the cross, weeping. I get back up, with Jesus blood and my tears mixed with dirt on my face and I exclaim, “Surely this man is the Son of God.” And I have just murdered him.

A disciple of Jesus:

“I can’t believe this. I can’t believe this is actually happening!”, we all repeated amongst ourselves, unable to take in the reality that our Rabbi was being killed right in front of our eyes. I couldn’t take it anymore. So I pushed my way through the crowd and try to run to Jesus so I could free him from his cross. But the soldiers grabbed me before I could get near him. They threw me back into the crowd, so I waited for a better chance to get close to Jesus…

“Here we go. Perfect.” I look on the other side of the road and see the guards busy holding back some other members of the crowd. So I sprint to Jesus and lower myself to the ground because he had just fallen. I frantically started crying and screaming to him, “Jesus, why are you going through all of this? Why are you doing this?” As the guards caught me and dragged me off, I hear Jesus say to me, in a loud cry “Do not fear child, for I am making all things new.”

The soldiers drag me back to the crowd again and I just fall down and begin to weep. Jesus continues his walk and the crowd follows. I am left by myself; alone, on my knees with my face on the ground. The dirt beneath my face mixes with my tears and turns into mud. I decide to stay there and mourn, unable to watch the actual crucifixion of my Lord.…There was something strangely confusing, sorrowful, but yet comforting in those words Jesus had just spoken to me.

Mid-afternoon came. I guess it was about 4 o’clock and the crowd began to slowly walk back towards me, on there way back to their homes. I knew what this meant. He was dead. I wanted to think tha maybe he was still alive. I walked towards the site of the cross, greeted by stern looks of the crowd as I went against their flow. When I arrived at the Skull, I saw that some of my other brothers were still there. We came together to try and process what just happened. There was a dead chill in the air. We waited for Jesus to miraculously come down from the cross…but he didn’t do it. I stated, “He’s gone”, and we all left, broken and drained.

Jesus:

It’s just as the scriptures prophecy about me. Surely, I take up their sickness and carry their sorrows. I am pierced for their transgression and crushed for their sins. The punishment that brings them peace is upon me, and by my wounds they are healed. They all, like sheep, have gone astray. Each of them has turned to his own way, and the Lord has laid on me the iniquity of them all. I will justify many and will bear all their sins. I pour out my life unto death and am numbered with the sinners. I bear the sin of many and have made intercession for the transgressors.

God has made me, who knew no sin, to become sin for them, so that in me they might become the righteousness of God.

My Father, I have accepted this cup. I know this is worth it.

God the Father:

My son, I am with you. Don’t give up. It is my will for you to do this for the salvation of the ones we created. I will get glory from this. Thank you for understanding and accepting this. Know, dear son, that your death is not in vain. Death is not the end for you. Nor is death the end for those who believe in you. Your sacrifice is for the redemption of the world. I know the nails are exruciating, but we both feel the weight of all sin on your shoulders. Know that I have not forsaken you. Just a little longer, Jesus, and you will be at rest. I love you son. This love- your love- our love restores all that is flawed. Because your body is broken, they may have life. Because your blood is poured out, they may be healed.

I love you Jesus. I love you. I love you. I love you.

2010-04-02T15:41:00.000-07:00

Death must come before life.

sister,

2010-03-29T19:06:00.000-07:00

Could you please, please slow down

And wait on Him?

Many will come and say and do flattering things, but

Remember your first Love. He

Is your husband; your Lover

Even through all your rebellion.

Just wait; find your beauty and loveliness in Him alone.

Understand that He is your Man, first.

None of us want to see you get hurt again,

Especially me; but even more so our Father.

I see it in you.

2010-03-28T09:28:00.000-07:00

I can see a lot of life in you.

Deep in your pain-filled eyes

is where I see it.

I can see a lot of life in you.

Underneath that soft and hurting

smile of yours is where I see it.

I can see a lot of life in you.

In the scars on your wrists

is where I see it.

leadership

2010-03-23T20:34:00.000-07:00

Leaders are called to stand
in that lonely place
between the no longer and the not yet
and intentionally make decisions
that will bind, forge, move
and create history.

We are not called to be popular,
we are not called to be safe,
we are not called to follow,
we are the ones called to take risks,
we are the ones called to change attitudes;
to risk displeasures,
we are the ones called to gamble our lives,
for a better world.

--Mary Lou Anderson

matthew 23

2010-03-23T17:56:00.000-07:00

Jesus, in Matthew 23, talking about the pharisees....

they do not practice what they preach. They tie up heavy loads and put them on men's shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift even a finger to move them. Everything they do is done for men to see. they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted in the marketplaces and to have men call them 'Rabbi.' You shut the kingdom of heaven in men's faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are. You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness. O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing

2010-03-19T21:01:00.000-07:00

i can't get over how beautifully tragic humanity is. we have fallen so far from where we were meant to be. yet, the image of Light shines from every smile. murderers, saints, preachers, pharisees, orphans, widows, americans, mexicans...we all bear the mark of someone higher; someone greater than all we know. you can see it in our eyes; deep, deep within our eyes, if you look close enough.
we're all longing to be with the One who created us.
we are connected to him, all of us, by the same painful hope.

Hope has come.

2010-03-03T17:40:00.000-08:00

I wish words were enough to describe how much I love you.
If they were, I could write a thousand books to describe it to you.
But nothing that my lips speak or my hand pens, can do
justice to how my heart feels.
My heart has a language of its own.
I can't even understand it sometimes.
My Teacher once said that dying for someone
is the greatest form of love.
Oh, how I long to die for you;
I'll die everyday for a thousand years.

I just wanna see you fly.

You Brighten My World

2010-03-01T19:56:00.000-08:00

Your smiles light up any dark night.

Your laughs warm up this stone cold heart.

Your joy awakens these tired eyes of mine.

You[all] brighten my world.

2010-02-25T17:12:00.000-08:00

oh One who holds the Pleiades in your hand,

would you take that same hand and pick up

the pieces of my heart and put it back together.

For I have broken my own heart.

and I can't heal it.

So, please;

please mend my heart.

wherever you are be all there

2010-02-24T19:22:00.000-08:00

If I live in the past and dwell on all my mistakes, or even the good things I've done, I will miss out on what is happening now. Or if I spend too much time in the future, and meditate on who I'm going to marry or where I will live, I will overlook the here and now.

If my heart and soul is living in yesterday, and if my mind and strength is living in tomorrow, then none of me will be here, today.

If I think too much about last fall, wanting to gaze out at the mosaic of colors in the trees, or if I look forward to the beauty of spring or the warmness of summer, then I will miss out on what the cold, dead winter has to teach me.

"Wherever you are, be all there." (Jim Elliot)

2010-02-24T18:46:00.000-08:00

what if i fall and hurt myself?
would you know how to fix me?
what if i went and lost myself?
would you know where to find me?
if i forgot who i am
would you please remind me?

from "Hazy": by Rosi Golan

Smile

2010-02-23T13:41:00.000-08:00

I haven't seen you smile in quite a while.
I miss them things. They're life giving, ya know.
Smiles are contagious, but so are frowns.
So smile! 'cause you have plenty of reasons to.

Smile, for each day is new, full of life.
Smile, for you woke up today.
Smile, for the God who has been faithful to you
is still faithful and will continue to be faithful.
Smile, for He is making all things new.
There are millions more reasons,
but I'll let you discover them.

Smiles are God's simple, beautiful ways of
letting us shine his light in this dark, dark world.
A smile is a breath of fresh air in the midst
of a thick, heavy smog.
A smile is a candle, gently illuminating a dark room.
A smile is a wonderful thing.

When you smile, invisible butterflies are released,
sent into others' lives to brighten them up a bit.
When you smile, I can hear the sun shining
through the holes in the clouds.
When you smile, I can see a symphony of birds
chirping on a nice spring day.

Don't let them pearly whites of yours
hide behind those lips any longer.

Something Beautiful

2010-02-22T17:24:00.000-08:00

I wanna start it over
I wanna start again
I want a new beginning
One without an end
I feel it inside
Calling out to me

It's a voice that whispers my name
It's a kiss without any shame
Something beautiful
Like a song that stirs in my head
Singing love will take us where
Somethings beautiful

I've heard it in the silence
Seen it on a face
I've felt it in a long hour
Like a sweet embrace
I know this is true
It's calling out to me

It's the child on her wedding day
It's the daddy that gives her away
Something beautiful
When we laugh so hard we cry
Oh the love between you and I
Something beautiful

by: Newsboys

faith

2010-02-21T19:16:00.000-08:00

Faith is being SURE of what we hope for and CERTAIN of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible....without faith it is IMPOSSIBLE to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe (1) that he exists and (2) that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. hebrews 11

we are His

2010-02-21T08:46:00.000-08:00

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength [and love your neighbor as yourself]. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

You are a people holy to the LORD your God. The LORD your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession. The LORD did not set his affection on you and choose you because you were more numerous than other peoples, for you were the fewest of all peoples. But it was because the LORD loved you and kept the oath he swore to your forefathers that he brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the land of slavery, from the power of Pharaoh king of Egypt. Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.
Deuteronomy 6 and 7
...........................................................

As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him— you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.......You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God.
1 Peter 2

bird

2010-02-20T20:47:00.000-08:00

There's a little bird caged up in my heart, longing to be released. He's frantically flapping his wings trying to get out. But he also sings himself songs to try to remain calm and peaceful in my heart. But neither of these things seem to be working. Someone please show this bird what it means to be free, whether he is flying through the air or singing in my heart.

2010-02-20T20:45:00.000-08:00

You must learn love.
Love isn't a one way street.
Love isn't about just being loved.
and Love isn't only about giving love.
Love is both of those,
You must learn that, yes, love is selfless
and sacrificial, but you also must realize
that you must be able to receive love.
You must let me and others love you.
So stop resisting my love. Don't harden your heart.
Just let me love you
and I'll let you love me back.
Learn love.

Deliver Me

2010-02-15T20:13:00.000-08:00

Deliver me from myself.

Deliver me from comfort.

Deliver me, just like you always do.

Undone

2010-02-12T21:42:00.000-08:00

I came to the pond to casually talk with you,
but you obviously had different plans.
This was no casual encounter.
Your glory overwhelmed me.
My body shook.
My knees quaked.
All that was in me trembled in fear.
Literally.
For in front of me; all around me,
was One too holy for me to look at.
So with my face on the ground
and my tears melting the snow beneath me,
I realized how unworthy I am.
I am ruined. I am undone.
For I am a man of unclean lips,
and I come from an unclean people.
But you have purified me with your blood.
You hold me together.
You undo my undone-ness.

Love

2010-02-10T18:59:00.000-08:00

If I speak about the scriptures eloquently, and can persuade the masses with my speech; or even if I speak in tongues of angels, but have not love, I am just a clanging gong; making a loud, unpleasant noise.
If I prophesy things to come or if I gain all knowledge and understanding; even know the mysteries of the Almighty God. If mountains crumble because of my great faith or if the earth shakes because of it, but I have no love, then I am absolutely nothing.
If I give everything I own to those in need, or sacrifice my body; even die for God, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient. Love is calm and peaceful.
Love is kind. Love cares for others and considers others better than itself.
Love does not envy. Love does not get jealous or worry about the things of this world.
Love does not boast. Love is humble.
Love is not proud. Love is not full of itself and is not arrogant.
Love is not rude. Love always respects others.
Love is not self-seeking. Love empties itself for the good of others, and doesn't expect anything in return.
Love is not easily angered. Love does not have a temper.
Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love forgives, always.
Love does not delight in evil. Love rejoices in the truth.
Love always protects. Love watches over and cultivates what is in front of it.
Love always trusts. Love does not doubt.
Love always hopes. Love always looks up; love doesn't get discouraged.
Love always perseveres. Love never gives up. Love goes on.
Love never fails. Love never fails. Love never fails.
Love is the greatest.

Mr. M

2010-02-10T17:51:00.001-08:00

Oh, hello old friend. what a surprise it is to see you tonight. Just when I thought I had gotten rid of you, there you go, interrupting my life again. I've got to kill you. I have no other choice. I hope I never see you again.

prayer for us

2010-02-10T17:41:00.000-08:00

May you find everything in Him

before you find anything in me.

May I be led fully by Him

before I ever try to lead you.

Before you believe a word I say,

May you believe Him when He says

"my beloved is beautiful"

Before I begin to give an ounce of myself to you,

May I be willing to die for you

just as He did for me.

2010-02-06T21:47:00.000-08:00

What are you trying to say to me?

Please speak clearly.

I'm not good at discerning these kinds of things.

I need you to help me with this.

I can't figure you out,

but then again, where would be the

adventure in pursuing you

if I could understand all your ways.

You are a mystery...and that is

what keeps drawing me to you.

Lovely

2010-02-05T05:48:00.000-08:00

Let me tell you a story
Of a little boy who had lost his way
In search for something to make it a better day,
But all he seemed to find
Was a world of hurt and pain
And a place that didn't seem to care that he'd lost his way.
So the boy began to cry.
Yes, the boy began to cry.

Does anyone love me?
Does anyone care?
Is anyone out there?
That finds me lovely
That fnds me lovely
That finds me lovely?

Just when the little boy had lost all hope
Well, along came a man that ushered him in.
He held him to his chest
and He said Little boy, it's time that you rest
He opened up His arms
And said, I've been searching for you for some time.
now, little boy, you have found a home
And no longer shall you roam
Then the man began to cry.
Yes, the man began to cry.

Don't you know I love you?
Don't you know I care?
And I will always be here,
And I find you lovely.
Yes, I find you lovely.
Yes I find you so so lovely.
I find you lovely...
Yes, I find you lovely

by: Shawn McDonald

musings from the snow.

2010-01-31T10:48:00.000-08:00

Everything is white.
Everything is pure.
Except for my heart.

Melt this ice cold heart like you're melting the world around me.

Wash me whiter than this snow.

The ground is covered with your beauty.
All the trees are covered in diamonds.
and there's no noise;
just the sound of you gently breathing life into me.

I am eclipsed by your glory.

Alaska

2010-01-31T10:42:00.000-08:00

It snowed alot at North Greenville this weekend. there are several inches. and i've had alot of fun playing in the snow with my friends...but i think God is doing something; well, continuing to do something in me, that is deeper then sledding down a hill....

the summers after my freshman and sophomore years in high school, I went to Nikiski, Alaska with some fellow believers. we worked with Lighthouse Community Church. In short, God gave a me a glimpse of how he wants his church to live. another cool thing was that i got to see some pretty majestic mountains and scenery. I mean, in Greenville, daily, I'm amazed at God's creation...but in Alaska it seems like it is magnified times 100!

for the past 5 years, Alaska has taken up alot of my thoughts. the first 3 years after I went last I had this "dream" in the back of my mind that one day i'd go back and live there or something. but recently, during the past 2 years, especially since i've been at NGU, the whole Alaska thing more and more seems to be turning into a reality. and its not just my desire. I fully believe that Jesus wants me to follow him there. I don't have a clear answer as to how long I'll be there, or where i'll be, but i do know that I can't get Alaska off my mind. and this weekend brought back these desires even more.
It's hard to be patient through all this...i've waited 5 years, and i'll probably wait some more..

the snow this weekend intensified my thoughts about Alaska. I can't wait to be there again....but i must wait.
all day saturday, my mind was on alaska. so much so, that i became and felt pretty distant from the friends i was with all day. then we went to waffle house at like 1 in the morning...and yes, i was indeed tired, but that wasn't the reason i remained quiet and distant. and when we got back from waffle house at 2, i went for a walk around campus. it was incredible. so beautiful.   it was so peaceful, so quiet. but it was also dark and cold. and then the thoughts about Alaska became even more intense. As I walked through our snow laden campus in the still darkness, I started thinking about how dark and cold Alaska is...both literally and spiritually. there's a lot of depression and suicide and alcohol and drug abuse there. in the winter its dark for the majority of the day...
and then in the summer its light almost 24 hours a day. that gives me hope. hope that Christ's light will shine in Alaska. has been shining; is shining; will continue to shine. And since I am the light of the world, I believe that Jesus wants me to partner with him in overwhelming the darkness there.
and that makes it hard to be content at NGU. I have THE greatest friends a guy could ask for. my brothers and sisters have blessed my life like crazy. and God has put me in a lot of cool places that seem ideal for advancing the kingdom. even with this stuff, its hard sometimes to be here.
but I know that God has put me here at NGU for these 4 or 5 years. I know that. and its my duty as a man to take what is in front of me and advance it; watch over it and protect it. make it better. so i will do that. even if its hard. even if i continue to shed tears over it. Jesus is with me. whatever we do, I know he will never leave me. Jesus didn't promise us an easy life without hardship. but he did promise us peace. and rest.   and i am restless and weary. peace and rest will i seek. peace and rest will i receive from my Savior.

I Need You

2010-01-17T19:53:00.002-08:00

I need you like the ocean needs the waves.
I need you like the sun needs the rain.
I need you like the spring needs the winter.
More than the approval of man, I need you.
More than achievement and success, I need you.
More than prosperity and a life full of years, I need you.
More than the touch of a woman, I need you.
More than myself, I need you.

2010-01-17T19:53:00.001-08:00

Your grace is enough, but I can't get enough of you.

Patience

2010-01-17T19:49:00.001-08:00

Patience, my son, is what you need.
You must learn to wait.
Don't hasten to fill your desires,
for you will surely be left empty.
But wait on me; for peace and good things
come to those who wait.
Please be patient little one;
for though this fruit takes many
seasons to grow, once it is ripe
it tastes oh so sweet.

2010-01-17T19:46:00.000-08:00

Our hearts are shattered.
Our stone cold hearts have
crumbled to pieces.
And the millions of little shards
are being put back together,
mixed up with everyone elses,
making our hearts one.

We are Those

2010-01-16T13:52:00.000-08:00

Those who were mute are now singing.
Those who were blind can now see the light.
Those who were once dead are coming out of their graves.
Those who were once in darkness now shine like stars in the universe.

beard

2010-01-13T10:31:00.000-08:00

Strip me of my pride and counterfeit strength.
Even if it means shaving my beard.

"Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7

My Cup

2010-01-07T22:39:00.000-08:00

My cup surely overfloweth.
Grace and peace and blessing and love and redemption
pour out over the sides
and flood into the lives of my brothers and sisters,
blessing others and bringing glory to the Name.
All because you drank the cup that I couldn't drink.
My cup surely oveflowed.
Death and sin and darkness and pride and selfishness
poured out over the sides
and flooded into the lives of others
and made them stumble, bringing disgrace to the Name.
You drank it all.
You drank death so I could drink life.
You took my cup as your own, so that I could have yours.

The Object Towards Which the Action of the Sea is Directed

2009-12-23T23:48:00.000-08:00

Oh, how I've missed you my dear.
It's been 4 years since I've last seen you.
But the memories are still fresh in my mind.
I remember the first time I laid eyes on you.
It was indeed 'love at first sight'.
My eyes could hardly take in your beauty.
So majestic and strong, you stood;
your splendor intimidating, yet inviting.
You were so kind to me.
You helped teach me how to live and how to love.
Daily I remember you and cherish the time we had together.
I remember looking into those deep, golden eyes of yours;
losing myself in the mystery of your gaze.
And I remember leaving you; hoping that I'd
be with you again soon.
But soon enough I'll be in your arms again; someday.
I hate that you can't come to me, but I understand why.
So please, keep being patient, and I'll try too.
But I know you don't need me; it's mostly that I need you.
But I will come. I'll come back to you.
I want to spend the rest of my days with you.
We'll change the world together.

My Heart

2009-12-19T15:44:00.000-08:00

--------Free------------------------------------------------Sin----------
-Soft---------------White------------------------Black------------Rock-
---Pure--------------------Clean---------Dirty------------------Hard---
------Flesh------------------------Dead----------------------Stone------
----------Light--------------------Alive---------------------Dark----------
-------------Warm---------------------------------------Cold -----------
----------------Strong--------------------------------Weak---------------
--------------------Holy----------------------------Evil--------------------
-----------------------Tender------------------Numb--------------------
---------------------------Real--------------Fake-------------------------
------------------------------Life--------Death----------------------------
------------------------------------Hate----------------------------------
------------------------------------Love----------------------------------

2009-11-10T14:37:00.000-08:00

O, my God; O, my God, I love you.
O, my God; O, my God, I love you.
O, my God; O, my God, I love you.
O, my God; O, my God, I love you.
O, my God; O, my God, I love you.
O, my God; O, my God, I love you.
O, my God; O, my God, I love you.
O, my God; O, my God, I love you.
O, my God; O, my God, I love you.
O, my God; O, my God, I love you.

Still to be Found

2009-11-05T11:06:00.000-08:00

Though the worries of this life weigh you down
and it seems everything in you is at war,
there is Peace still to be found.
Though depression overwhelms your heart
and sorrow floods your soul,
there is Joy still to be found.
Though you are weary of trying
and tired of always doing,
there is Rest still to be found.
Though you've fallen short
and you know you can't get there,
there is Grace still to be found.
Though the earth crumbles
and the mountains fall into the sea,
there is Salvation still to be found.
Though the darkness surrounds you
and the shadows overtake you,
there is Light still to be found.
Though unbelief clouds your mind
and doubt crushes your dreams,
there is Faith still to be found.
Though all is lost
and you have nothing left,
there is Hope still to be found.
Though you've strayed so far
and wasted all your inheritance,
there is Love still to be found.
Though death encircles you
and the grave swallow you up,
there is Life still to be found.
Though you are lost
and can't find your way back home,
you are still to be found.

Bless

2009-10-20T18:13:00.001-07:00

To the measure you have been blessed, bless others.
If you have money, bless others with it.
If you are athletic, use sports to bless others.
If you can sing or play an instrument, bless others with your music.
If you can paint, bless others with your art.
If you are funny, bless others by helping them laugh.
If you have nothing, bless others out of you nothingness.
If you have life, bless others with it.
If you are free, bless others by using your freedom to free them.
Bless others.
All peoples on earth will be blessed through God's children.
Be a blessing.

p.s.
To the measure you have been loved, love others.
Give everything for them. Die for them.

2009-10-20T18:05:00.000-07:00

Can we just sit and hang out for a bit?
Can we talk and not get tired of those
awkward silences that will come,
like when you are on the phone with
someone you love, and neither of you
can think of anything else to say and
everything is quiet and there is a long pause-
but its ok because its satisfying just to know
they're on the other line, listening, waiting.
Can we just be with each other?
We don't have to say a word.
Just like when you're with one
of those special friends and you don't
even have to speak to have a good time;
its enjoyable to just sit there and look
at each other, or maybe look at the rest
of Your creation together.

I want a silence that brings rest and
peace and fills me with good things.

2009-10-18T10:39:00.000-07:00

Let children walk with nature, let them see the beautiful blendings and communions of death and life, their joyous inseparable unity, as taught in woods and meadows, plains and mountains and streams of our blessed star, and they will learn that death is stingless indeed, and as beautiful as life.
----John Muir----

Luna

2009-10-06T19:43:00.000-07:00

She looks lonely, up there all by herself;
surrounded by an entire sky of darkness.
Except when the stars are out-
then she has a few friends.
But when her friends decide not to come
out to play, or if they decide to just leave her,
she is alone; the only sign of light
until her brother comes out in the morning.
But when its just her, she sure does
put on a show, simple and quiet,
but magnificent nonetheless.
And then there's nights like tonight
when she's not here. Maybe she
is just hiding from us. Maybe she
shuts herself in her room like
some of us lonely people do.
But I've come to believe that she's not
hiding. She's probably not even lonely.
She is strong and confident.
And when she "hides", she's actually
just resting until the next time
she comes out...kind of like a sabbath.
And when she is out, whether she shows us
only a sliver of her brilliance, or if she
shines like a giant pearl, reflecting the light
of her Father, she is beautiful.

Time

2009-09-30T19:56:00.000-07:00

Where has all the time gone?
Did it just fly away on its own?
Or was it I who gave it wings?
Did time leave me behind
and move on to tomorrow?
Or did it slow way down and I
was the one who ran ahead of it?
Well, wherever it is, I don't
seem to have it anymore.
Guess I'll keep looking for it...

Ahhh! here it is.
Time is right here.
It's right now.

When God Made the Stars...

2009-09-28T10:25:00.000-07:00

When God made the stars,
maybe he was playing baseball,
and just knocked the white balls of fire
all across the universe.
When God made the stars,
maybe He just had to sneeze,
and he just blew the star particles
all over the sky.
When God made the stars,
maybe he put up a piece
of black construction paper that is
a bazillion light years big in the sky
to separate heaven from earth,
and then used a safety pin to poke
holes in the paper so that we can have
little glimpses of heaven every night.
When God made the stars,
maybe He was painting on a dark canvas,
and just slapped all the galaxies onto it
with his giant paintbrush.
Or maybe when God made the stars,
He just said, "Let there be", and there was.

Fig Leaves

2009-09-15T19:42:00.000-07:00

I'm tired of wearing these fig leaves.
I want to be free and naked, with no shame or fear.

Blood Cries Out

2009-09-10T19:47:00.000-07:00

I have killed my brother.
His blood cries out, "Justice!" "Retribution!" "Punishment!"
And I have killed my King.
His blood cries out, "Forgiveness!" "Grace" "Redemption!"

---influenced by genesis 4

At My Door

2009-09-10T19:41:00.000-07:00

There is a demon lying in wait for me
to walk out of my front door.
It's hiding under the steps,
looking for the right time to strike.
And its desire is to have me; as a spouse.
But I must master it.
At my back door, there is a lion,
hiding, crouching in the bushes
waiting to pounce and devour me.
But I must tame this beast.

---influenced by genesis 4

wedding vow

2009-09-03T16:31:00.000-07:00

Death shall not do us part.

Our Story

2009-09-02T18:22:00.000-07:00

We are the ones who are broken;
we are stained and shattered.
Yet we are the ones to whom
the Truth is spoken.
Our people are torn and tattered,
but the hope that lies within us
can pull the dying out of their graves.
Though we are bruised and battered,
the love in our hearts is the power that saves.
We are dirty sinners, with the grace
of God crashing down on us like ocean waves.
We are ruined, yet we can look upon the Son's face.

I thought.

2009-09-02T18:18:00.000-07:00

I thought I knew what sacrifice meant,until
I met a man who came from the heavens
to be born as a baby here on earth.

I thought I had it all together, until
I met a man who told me everything I ever did.

I thought I knew what discipleship meant, until
I met a man who took twelve dudes
and changed the world forever.

I thought I knew what truth was, until
I met a man who was truth itself.

I thought I knew what humility was, until
I met a man who washed his servants' feet.

I thought I knew how to love, until
I met a man who died for the sins of the world.

2009-08-29T13:09:00.000-07:00

I can't remember if I gave you my heart,
or if you took it from me.
But, regardless, it's yours now.

Please Come Back

2009-08-22T13:52:00.001-07:00

Please come back soon.
Things just aren't the same as they used to be when you were here.
Right after you left, things were still okay,
because you said you'd come back
and we were expecting your return shortly.
But now you've been gone for so long.
And I miss you.
Everything seems to be falling apart without you.
This place isn't the same anymore.
If you would just come back everything would be better;
everything would be alright.
You promised you would come back to us; for us.
Please hurry.
Please come back.

for you i'll wait

2009-08-05T16:20:00.001-07:00

For you, I will wait.

Mystery

2009-08-05T15:50:00.001-07:00

We are children of the Most High God,
yet are born into a land of sin and sorrow.

We must lose our life just to live; we must die to find life,
because if we try to save ourselves and live, we'll end up lost and dead.

We are capable of both good and evil and a constant battle
between the spirit and the flesh goes on in our hearts.

We are fools, yet one day sages will fall to us.
We are nothing, but we'll shame the ones who are something.
In our weaknesses and struggles we have more strength then we could ever dream.
Its all about grace, but faith without works is dead.

The arrogant, boastful ones will be brought low, and
the humble, the ones who know their pride, will be lifted up.

We're living somewhere between heaven and hell
though there are glimpses of both here on earth.

Our King is both fully divine and fully of dust,
reigning over a kingdom that is both here and still coming.

Same

2009-08-04T08:41:00.000-07:00

The voice that spoke light into existence
is the same voice that spoke me into being.

The mouth that breathed balls of fire into the night sky
is the same mouth that breathes life into this lifeless body.

The hands that formed the earth from nothing
are the same hands that mold me and shape me.

The fingers that hurl lightning bolts out of the clouds
are the same fingers that gently stroke my hair as I fall to sleep.

The arms that hold the universe
are the same arms that hold me when I'm scared.

The spirit that cannot be tamed
is the same spirit that lives in my heart.

The one who was
is the same one who is.

Gates

2009-07-31T14:41:00.000-07:00

Long ago, a man began to build a gate. It started out very simple and small. He would just lay a rock on top of another one, using mud to hold them together. His dream was to make his gate the biggest, strongest gate in the world; he didn't want anything to be able to knock down his gates. Eventually, the gate became too big for him to work on it by himself, so he recruited some people to help him. As the gate got bigger, more people were required to help. The foundation and walls were made of the strongest rock in the world. The metal bars were stranger than steel and iron. Years into the construction of the gate, the entire world was working on it. Every single person in the world...except one. There was only one man in all the world who did not help build the gates. In fact this man wanted to tear down the gate. He would work by himself at night to try to weaken the gate. Later, he got a few of his close friends to help him. Over time, this man had a lot of followers to help him tear down the gate. The gate began to weaken, but in unnoticeable ways at first. After a while, the once impenetrable walls began to fall apart, one rock at a time, and the invincible metal bars started to rust. Now, as the people steadily attack the gate and bring it down, the other side frantically rushes around trying to fortify it and keep the gate from falling. But the gate will fall. These gates will not stand.

Trevor Hall

2009-07-26T12:49:00.000-07:00

My friend Tyler put together a trip to Charlotte to go see Trevor Hall in concert. It was at a little bar-like venue called the Double Door Inn (very good, intimate show, by the way). I think we had 11 people go.

A little information on Trevor Hall would probably be useful here. I found out about this guy a little over a year ago (he actually grew up in Hilton Head, SC). His "style" is sort of reggae-acoustic-ish...I think he is very unique. He is only 22 years old too. A lot of his music is influenced by teachings of Hindu leaders, and he also sings about/to Hindu gods and goddesses. He sings a lot about peace and love and unity. He doesn't consider himself part of the Hindu religion, but is influenced by that culture though (He doesn't want to be grouped into a particular religion)...he would probably seem very hippy-like to most people.

He is probably one of the top 3 musicians that I listen too. Even though he doesn't sing about Jesus, I can sing his songs to Jesus. A lot of his lyrics are true about the world and love and peace and stuff....the things he sings to Hindu gods, I can just sing to my God. It's kind of interesting.

But back to the actual concert.
It was him playing the acoustic guitar, a guys name Mario playing bass, and Chris Steele playing drums (he's the best drummer i've ever heard). We got there early enough to get right next to the stage. Trevor Hall puts on a very, very good live show. He sounded just like he does on his albums, only better! The music was very passionate and fun. As he played his songs, I sang along to them and danced a little too! I feel like I connected with God well last night. I was able to sing the songs to Jesus, but at the same time, I was able to pray for Trevor. I really want him to know Jesus. My prayer was that all the peace and love that he sings about, that he would find it in Jesus. He won't find it in Hinduism, and he won't find it in humanity coming together for good causes...He's only going to find real, true love in Jesus.

The show started at 10 pm. He ended at about 11:30, but came back on stage and did a few more songs. He really didn't end until just before midnight. After waiting for the 200 or so to buy CDs, speak to Trevor and the band, and exit the bar, we stayed around and wanted to hang out with Trevor.

I came up to him and gave him a hug and told him that I believe in Jesus. I told him to keep seeking out truth and peace and love, and that I thought God would reveal it to him.
He was very genuine and down to earth- a normal guy not caught up in the fame and junk of being a professional musician. We literally stuck around until all the other fans were gone.
The band started to break down the set, so we asked if we could help load their stuff up in their van. It was cool to help them, and we had some good conversations about life. I asked him if he wanted to go eat at Waffle House with us, but he said that the night before they had a very late show, and wanted to get some sleep tonight. But he said that he would definitely wanted to go. And I truely believe he would've gone with us had he not done a late show the night before. We asked him if he was Hindu, and he said that he didn't consider himself a Hindu, but thought that he was a little bit of everything...basically that if you're after love and peace and something higher than yourself, than it's good.
Before we left I asked him if I could have his address to send him a letter. He gave me his personal address! How cool!

I hope Trevor and his band saw Jesus and His love in us when we helped them and talked to them. I think there is hope for Trevor. I think Jesus will find him. What he is after is good, and some of it true, but Jesus is the way, truth and the life, and I pray that he comes to know and follow Him.

In conclusion, this was by far the best concert I've been too. it was only 10 bucks too. and we got to hang out for an hour after the show with Trevor and his band.

And So We Battle

2009-07-13T18:36:00.000-07:00

There is a war waging;
A battle is raging;
All around us;
Inside of us all.
Everyone is in it, whether we
like it or not; whether we
realize it or not.
This is the bloodiest war in history.
The weapons used are a mystery.
There are no guns or bombs or swords used.
We fight with things unseen.
The enemy fights with hate, greed,
and deceitful lies.
We fight with love in our hearts
and fire in our eyes.
Everyday lives are lost, but we
keep fighting no matter the cost;
A world is at stake here...
...and so we battle.

Isaiah 53

2009-07-11T14:08:00.000-07:00

There was nothing beautiful or majestic about him.
Nothing in him that we should desire him.
We hated him and despised him, even though
he came to be our king.
We hid our faces from him even though
he created everything;
all things, seen and unseen.
He chose to take up our sickness,
and he carried our sorrows, but we
considered him cursed by some kind of wickedness.
And he was pierced for our transgressions,
and crushed because of our iniquities.
Upon him was the punishment
that brought us peace.
And by his wounds we are healed.
We all, just like sheep, have gone astray,
forsaken our shepherd, and gone our own way.
The iniquities of us all were laid upon him.
He was beaten and oppressed,
yet did not say even a word,
though he was afflicted by his own herd.
We, his sheep, treated him like a lamb,
and led him to the slaughter.
He was murdered by his sons and daughters.
He was stricken for the sins of his people,
then was given a grave with the evil.
Though he had never lied, we treated him like this.
He was not violent, and he still remained silent.
He lived his life for us,
and then poured it out unto death; he gave
himself for us, even up to his very last breath.
For he bore the sin of us all,
restoring all things because of our fall.

***the majority of this comes from Isaiah 53...I just made some stuff rhyme.***

Clouds

2009-07-07T09:30:00.000-07:00

I love it when there are those cotton ball clouds in the sky that I could just take a big ole' nap on. You must want me to rest with you.

I love it when there are those dark, ominous clouds covering the sky that shake me to my bones when they thunder. You must want to humble me.

And I love it when there are those mysterious clouds that spell out in 3-D "I love you." You must want to just tell me that you love me.

----

2009-07-05T09:11:00.000-07:00

This road we walk keeps getting narrower.
This war we fight keeps getting bloodier.
This life we live keeps getting harder.
This load we carry keeps getting heavier.
This race we run keeps getting longer.
We need more good workers.

Fireworks

2009-07-05T08:11:00.000-07:00

I look up and see the colors bursting into the night sky,
almost majestic against the dark, black canvas.
As the fireworks go off over the city,
we think about the freedom we have in this country.

And half way around the world we use our freedom
to shoot fireworks for those who are not free like us.
It's just that those fireworks are far more devastating
than the ones we shoot at home.
And they are not pretty and marvelous.

I look up and think how cool they are.
I've even got pictures of them.
Another boy my age in Afghanistan looks up
and runs for his life.

Do You Remember?

2009-06-26T17:24:00.000-07:00

Do you remember when we lived without any fears?
Do you remember when we dreamed dreams
and had visions of things unseen?
Do you remember when joy was all that filled our tears?

Do you remember when we would try to touch the sky?
Do you remember when we would dance with the stars,
sneaking out at night, unafraid of the dark?
Do you remember when we just jumped with out asking why?

Do you remember walking barefoot everywhere we went?
Do you remember when we'd play with the man in the moon?
Everytime we left, he said he'd come visit us real soon.
Do you remember when we had fun, with no money spent?

Do you remember when we ran around like we were free?
Do you remember when we listened to the ocean sing,
And heard the praises and voices of the mountains ring?
Do you remember when we saw each other as lovely?

Now I have more fears than I can count.
When I wake up, I don't know what my dream was about,
(if I even had a dream)
My face has become a desert because of my stubborn eyes.
Now, I can barely get off the ground.
And there are too many city lights to even see the stars.
Every time I jump, I get tangled up in the parachute harness and safety straps.
Now, I wear expensive shoes to keep my feet from getting dirty.
All I see are craters in the big ole white rock now.
And I spend money left and right only to stress myself out.
Now, I can't seem to escape the prison I've built around myself.
And my ears are stopped up with noise of my chaos.
I've made myself judge of everyone now.

(thanks to Trevor Hall's song "Mirror of the Sky" for inspiration for this)

The Great Paradox

2009-06-22T14:37:00.000-07:00

We are born dead to die to be born again to live.

Faith

2009-06-18T10:43:00.000-07:00

They say we're blessed to be able to hear.
That it's a miracle to see.
And a gift to speak.

I agree, but...

What if a deaf man hears things
too glorious for our able ears to handle?

What if a blind man sees things
that are too beautiful for our open eyes to take in?

What if a mute man communicates things
in a way far more eloquent than our mere words?

What if our blessings can be our curses?
We see, hear, and speak.
But what happens when He seems invisible,
silent, or has his fingers in His ears.

Maybe the deaf man hears his voice
much more clearly because it is
the only thing he can hear.

Maybe the blind man sees His face because
he doesn't see all the other distractions in the world.

Maybe the mute man has real conversations with Him,
because he can't talk to anyone else.

What if they are the ones who are blessed;
the ones who hear; who see.

You Became Me

2009-06-17T22:51:00.001-07:00

Today, I saw the depths of my heart.
I caught a glimpse of the most inner part.
I saw how sinful sin really is,
and how full my heart is of it.

I saw that my veins were
filled with thick, black blood.
When I bleed, evil comes
pouring out like a dark, dark flood.

I saw that there is no good,
beautiful or honorable thing in me.
I am as sinful as sin can be.
It's who I am; what I'm made of.
I am sin and sin is me.

But today,I also saw me die;
as you took it all upon yourself;
when you became I.
And as you hung on that tree,
I saw me come to life;
when you became me.

Bird

2009-06-15T08:21:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, there was a bird; a sparrow. This bird was both born and raised inside a cage. His whole life was spent in a cage. For years, this sparrow has been able to flap it's wings, but it's never been able to actually fly. Then one day, an eagle came and helped open the cage door. This new bird took the other bird's place in the cage so it could fly. The eagle gave up his opportunity to fly to let the sparrow fly. For the first time in his life, the sparrow was freed from his cage and was doing what he was made for. He was flying! After three days of staying in the cage, the eagle escaped and found the sparrow. They began to fly around the world together, gliding through the air. But when the eagle would take the sparrow to new heights and different parts of the sky, the sparrow would go flying back to his cage. He would go back to his cage because it was safer and easier to live in the cage. Every time he went back inside the cage, the eagle would fly after him and remind him that he is free- the cage door is open. He's free to fly.